Side Effect of Porn – Loneliness

One of the things that Peers AP have decided to do is write about some of the effects that pornography has on people.  Porn can cause many feelings of worthlessness, emptiness, or even hatred.  Many people have come to me with feelings of guilt or hatred of themselves.  Loneliness can be a horrible thing to live with and it is common for people feeling lonely to feel the lack motivation to make changes in their lives.  The truth is that it should make you feel lonely, because you are seperating yourself from people and viewing something that is entirely fantasy.  However if you are feeling lonely today or have felt lonely because of a porn habit then maybe you should rejoice for a moment.  If you are feeling lonely and you are wanting to do something about it then you have made a huge step in overcoming your habit.  Many people don’t quit not because they can’t but because they don’t want to.  Let me say that again many people don’t quit porn not because they can’t but because they don’t want to.

 Growing up I was not a very athletic guy, I wasn’t fat, but I would never have been picked first when playing basketball or other school sports.  I used to tell myself that fitness isn’t something I am good at so I probably shouldn’t expect to excel in any sports at school.  I had a friend who told me that instead of using this as an excuse I should use it as motivation and push myself really hard to make myself fit.  He was right.  Being semi out-of-shape gave me the mentality that I didn’t need to work out because I was still looking decent, however I realized that being semi out-of-shape is the reason that I needed to get fit.  We need to focus our negative energies to help motivate us to accomplish great feats.  I am sure that you all have heard of Thomas Edison and the light bulb.  How many times did people say that he was going to fail?  How many times did he actually fail?  With each time he did not suceed, he used it to motivate himself to try harder.  And that is what I did with exercising.  I joined a run group and I surrounded myself with people who were fit.  I started out slow but I decided not to judge my own pace with that of my friends.  I soon started to pick up the pace and within a month I could keep up the pace with them.  It was not too long afterward when I was starting to be the guy they picked in basketball and the guy that the girls wanted to talk to.  The key to sucess in anything is to surround yourself with people who have your own goals.  My desire was to become fit, so I asked to go out with my friends who were fit and they showed me how.

Being stuck in porn can make you lonely, sad, or give you feelings of worthlessness.  This is why it is so necessary for Peers AP to reach out to everybody, because when you are around people with the same goals, they tend to become easier to accomplish.  People are constantly saying that porn can be difficult to overcome, but that is because people isolate themselves from others.  When you are isolated, feeling lonely, you become alone.  When you are alone it is easier to return to pornography, but when you have friends who are helping you and supporting you, who have been where you are now, things become so much more easy.

The Peers AP community will have:

• A support group not only where people support you, but you will get to support others. 
• You will be assigned a team, and each month the team will be working toward completeing objectives.
• Teams will be competing against eachother and your progress can help the team become better.
• Individual support through an assigned buddy where you will be able to help eachother stay motivated.
• Information about things that you will need to prepare yourself for as you progress towards beating porn.

So, the next time you are feeling lonely, do something about it.  Do what I did and surround yourself with people who are seeking similar things.  I was around people who were good at running, and even though I was not good at first, I soon became better.  Yes, there we days where I didn’t want to run anymore, but I had people who were expecting me so I showed up and ran anyway.  Now, I can say that I love to run and that I am good at it.  Peers AP is the same principle.  There will be days where you will be weak and feeling down, but you will carry on because there are people counting on you.  You won’t start off being the best, but as time progresses you will find your mind thinking less about porn and more on talents or hobbies.

Remember the choices that we make today affect us tomorrow.  Imagine having the strength to beat porn for a year, or how about the rest of your life?  It can happen and as it does you will find that you have many talents and hobbies that you never knew about, but the biggest thing that will happen is that you will be happier. 

Written by Lance