Yesterday I was hanging around a group of friends, all of which are younger then myself, and we were talking about the the many accomplishments that each of us had done in our lives. There was talk of someone who played basketball in high school, of one who loved to sing, and some of how they had worked hard and got a full ride scholarship into a college. After a few minutes of bragging the conversation suddenly got into the subject of Pornography and which porn stars are the hottest. I was told that watching pornography was the thing that men do, and that if you don’t watch pornography, there was something wrong. In this group was a young fellow who was only 18, and he had just finished high school. It was obvious from the way that he talked that he was somewhat sheltered. My friends soon ascertained that this young lad was still a virgin and that he was not to big into pornography.
“Tonight is the night,” they told him, “You are going to become a man by buying your first porno.” I was really shocked by the mindset of these young men who thought that in order to become a man that you have to be sexually active. The 18 year old lad had a look of puzzlement on his face, when he looked at me looking for my approval. “What do you think?” I asked him. Nothing came out of his lips, but after a monents silence he went to the door and grabbed his shoes.
I lightly grabbed him by his arm and I asked him what he thinks it means to be a man. He didn’t have an answer. I sat him down and I told him that I am married and I have a beautiful daughter. I asked him is it would be manly of me to abandon my wife and child to pursue a life of viewing pornography. He replied that it would be irresponsible of me. This young man was absolutely correct. Being a man is about being able to take care of yourself and those around you.
I told him that when I was younger pornography split my parents up. My father’s sex drive was decreased and his desire to spend time with his children also decreased. In fact there would be nights where he wouldn’t come home or when my mother would recieve phone calls from random females asking for my dad. My dad would also stay up at night looking on the internet for porn. It turns out that my dad was addicted as a teen and he never had the strengh to overcome it.
I proceeded to explain my life to this young lad. I was in the third grade when a friend of mind brought a porn to school. We were curious and and it came back to haunt me later on in my life. I had a project due for english class so I stayed up that night trying to finish it off. As I was getting closer to finishing my project, I decided to take a break and watch some late night tv. I will never forget that night because I desired so badly to view it again. And I did. I woke up every night to watch softcore porn on the premium channels. My grades started to slip, and I was tired all the time. By the time I reached high school I was already addicted to porn. I would visit blockbuster and walk around the store trying to find sexually provocative things to stimulate me.
It wasn’t until later when I decided to get myself into some after school activities that things started to change for me. During that time I spent alot of time think about how nice it would be to date girls, and to be able to have cool talents. I never realized that I had girls wanting to date me and they were being exteremly obvious. I had destroyed myself because it is easy to lose yourself in pornography. Time goes by super quickly and you never get it back.
I was lucky enough to have some friends who found me stuggling. They helped me overcome my problem and I helped them overcome theirs. It is amazing how much pornography devours your life. I loved to play sports, but I never played them at school. I love to act, but I never tried out for school plays. I wanted to date, but I never dated. I wanted to be happy and have people like me, but even though people did like me, I was unhappy and I didn’t like myself. You see porn, in my opinion, makes you less of a man because you can’t take care of yourself and you don’t care about others.
The young lad told me that he was greatful that I talked to him about that because there was a girl that he was interested in but he didn’t know how to talk with her. We continued our talk and most of the others continued out the door saying that porn isn’t that bad, but when everyone had left one of the fellows came back in and told me that his life was destroyed because of porn. He had tried to stop many times before but he felt powerless to overcome it. He felt alone and thought that he was a horrible person, then he thanked me for my story.
I tell this story because I want people to know that pornography destroyed my life and the life of my father and mother. With the rise of the internet more and more people are becoming addicted to porn and they may feel like dirt. I am here to let everyone know that you are not alone. You are not dirt and that you can become something valueable. I now have an awesome wife and two daughters. I love them dearly and I would not trade them for anything. If you are addicted to porn, please get help. If you don’t know where to go, then visit www.peersap.org. This is a site for people who are stuggling and need assistance.
If you know someone who has been affected by porn then I would urge then to become a member of Peers AP so that we can fight this together. I was luckly that I had some good friends to help me overcome this battle, and no matter what happened they were there for me. I would like to point out that pornography is everywhere and all you have to do is look. Pornography is inticing many good people and they we need to help eachother support and educate eachother so that others will not make the same mistakes that we have.
Written by:
Blake Taylor
